


The Notes of an Undoubtedly Evil Person

by Quanfix



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Universe, F/M, Mada ka na?, Manga Spoilers, Rage my soldiers, SUSUME!, Sorry that was a weird thing to say, Spoilers, Time skip Reiner is hot, yada yada
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 01:43:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16316759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quanfix/pseuds/Quanfix
Summary: To those born great, and those born evil, and to those that are born. May these notes reach you.You are Faye Yeager, named after your late aunt, and daughter of Grisha Yeager. Along with your allies, you discover the world  behind the walls is more complex then it had first seemed. These are your notes, belonging to an undoubtedly evil person.-Manga spoilers! I Repeat, this story contains M A N G A  S P O I L E R S, you will be spoiled heavily!-*Hiatus until manga finishes, because apparently it's close to finishing/in its final arc, and I'd have a better idea of Zeke's character and plans*





	1. Freedom

**Year 845**

_‘Freedom...’_

Boarding the rocking boat, pushed and pulled by dark blue waves, you mulled over your brothers’ parting words. He had pulled you aside before the parade, to a place where no Eldian or Marelyan could listen in, and told you something that had shocked you. 

_"I'm going too? Why?"_

Your father, Grisha, had possibly made his way to the walls and was living on Paradis, and may have had children. That was what your older brother told you. The man you had never met, your father, a true devil who wished the destruction of Marley, was still possibly alive, according to your brother. It did not make any sense to you, because travelling in titan territory without the power of the titans was impossible, and your father was sent to Utopia, so how could he be alive?

_“Your role on this mission is simple.” Your commanding officer said to you, his scowl of disdain evident on the lines of his face for being questioned. “In the case of emergency, where the warriors cannot bring back the person in possession of the founding titan alive, they will feed him to you.”_

‘Although,’ you thought with a grim smile on your face as you stared into the crowd of Marleyans on the docks, cheering for you, an Eldian. ‘I am also a human without the power of the titans, travelling into titan territory with only a syringe filled with titan serum, and a backpack filled with food. Both things being completely useless against titans.’ The thought of it made you laugh, making Annie and Marcel stare at you with scrutinizing looks. As usual, Reiner was lost in himself, and was waving erratically at the crowd of people who once spat at the thought of us, now cheering us on. 

_“You will help the warriors take back the founding titan, and if need be, come back as the founding titan.” The officer told you, a sigh leaving his lips. “That is why you are going, Yeager.”_

‘The curse of Ymir, the curse that befalls all of my loved ones, will fall to me if we cannot capture the Fritz alive. The curse that will kill my brother, my friends, and Porco... He doesn’t have the curse yet, but he is still a warrior candidate. One day, he’ll become a titan too, and who’s to say I’ll be alive to see that happen?’ 

_“You might meet someone, Faye, with the last name Yeager, and when you do...”_

You scanned the crowd for your brother and grandparents, yearning for their familiar faces, the only family you had. You loved them so much, because in this cruel and cold world you still had their light to guide you. You have never stumbled aimlessly once, because your brother was always there to hold your hand, and your grandparents supported and loved you as though you were their daughter. Though you had no parents, your family was complete and loving.

‘In thirteen years, I’ll lose you Zeke.’ You smiled bitterly at them when you found them in a sea of Marleyans. Beside Zeke was Pieck, waving at you and your fellow warriors with a dazed smile, while Zeke held a solemn look. On his other side were your grandparents, smiling through tears and waving. You waved back at them, not as excitedly as Reiner, but enough to show you weren’t totally lost in thought like you normally are. ‘I’ll lose Pieck, and Marcel. Reiner, Annie and Bertolt too. Will it just be me, my grandparents and Porco left in this dark world? Free to survive, but at the cost of all our loved ones and friends?’ 

_“Promise me you’ll free them.”_

Free who? your half-sibling? How were you supposed to do that? Bring them back to the Liberio Internment Zone, and trade one wall for the next? In this world, there is no freedom for people like you. Eldians were devils, and the Eldians living on Paradis were worse than devils. There was no freedom in this world, with a world’s worth of sin falling on the shoulders of the Eldian race, and no amount of atonement would change your ancestors past. 

Your brother was always a vague man, with a world of secrets hidden behind his golden eyes. His jokes never failed to make you roll your eyes, and his strange riddles never failed to puzzle you. He always did say you were a bit simple, lost in your own world as often as you were. He meant well, but you had had quite enough of hearing about how it was a miracle you passed the warrior program to become a warrior candidate. You were well rounded in training, a ‘Jack of all trades, master of none’ type of person. It would be a waste to give the power of titans to you, yet you were entrusted with taking the founding titan if need be, which was the most important titan power to Marley. When you had found out, you had thought ‘What kind of jackass would entrust the founding titan to me?’ 

Of course you held your tongue, lest Marley cut it off for being a disrespectful devil.

Though you never spoke it out loud because it would be a crime to do so, you secretly hoped you wouldn’t have to take the founding titan. 

_‘Please, let this mission go well...’_

 

**Year 831, April 3rd, Liberio Internment Zone-**

_“Their plans, they’re the exact same as ours!”_

Evil

Grisha Yeager was born in a world filled with evil. 

War between nations was commonplace- and expected. The rush for resources, land, and total domination was the goal of various countries. Every nation was gunning for number one, and this meant war between countries. 

At the time of Grisha’s birth, Marley was the dominating force on the planet. With the power of six titans, Marley had a clear advantage over other nations. The power of the titans was an effective piece in war and destruction, and this advantage led many nations to despise Marley. 

Grisha was born in this nation, in a town called Liberio. 

In this nation of great war strength, Grisha was never at peace. People spat at the ground he walked, and shouted demeaning slurs at him. He was Eldian, and Eldians were despised by Marleyans, because Eldians were titans, and the titans had enslaved Marleyans for many years. His flesh and blood, according to the world, was made of sin.  
Because of that hatred, his younger sister Faye was killed. Though she was innocent of sin and only eight years old, she still met a grisly fate. Faye was found dead, killed by unknown means, and the mystery of her death was never solved.

Abandoned by the Marleyans, his father who cowed to the nation, and the Eldian empire, Grisha was alone in the world. Bitter with the nature of the world that had taken his sisters life, but powerless to change anything about it. Until he met people who had not abandoned the Eldians.

Known as the Eldian Restorationists, their goal was to restore the Eldian Empire. They told Grisha about what had really happened to his sister Faye. How a Marleyan officer fed Faye to dogs, and dumped her body in the river. Grisha was quick to join the restorationists. 

_“To take back the founding titan, and restore Eldia’s glory...”_

The Eldian restorationists goal was to give the founding titan to Grisha’s son, Zeke, who was of royal blood. This would give them the power to rival Marley, and restore Eldia. Since a very young age, their ideals were instilled in Zeke. Grisha, who was taught the evil of his ancestors by his father, taught his son the greatness of the Eldian Empire. 

On that early April morning in the Liberio Internment Zone, the Yeager family hurried through the busy streets filled with people. An announcement by the Marley military was going to be made, mandatory for young adults to attend- possibly conscription for Eldian soldiers. Or at least, Grisha thought so. Marley was always looking for ways to substitute Eldians to do the hard work in place of Marleyans.

“Make sure to behave Zeke, and don’t cause trouble for your grandparents.” Dina Yeager, a blonde and young woman, and wife to Grisha, spoke over the busy crowd. Zeke, who clutched onto her with one hand and held a monkey doll with the other nodded to her request. Zeke was a very quiet child, but was by no means shy. 

“After the announcement, we’ll come to collect you.” Grisha promised his five year old son as he weaved his way through the crowd. He did not like leaving his son around his father for longer than necessary, lest his hard work was undone by his father’s cowardice being transferred to Zeke. When they arrived, they thanked Grisha’s parents for taking Zeke on such short notice- after all, they were informed of the announcement only yesterday, and went on their way. 

When they arrived in the square where the announcement was being held, Grisha and Dina met up with Grice, a fellow Restorationist. They discussed the possibilities of the announcement, and made small talk about their family life while they waited. They dared not speak of their intentions in public, even among other Eldians, because there was always the risk of their faction being discovered.

The crowd began to quiet down when a Marleyan military officer ascended the platform at the front of the square, and Grisha watched with anticipation. What was so important to have an announcement at such short notice?

“Listen carefully, you Eldians!” The officer shouted over the crowd. “We, the Marley government, have decided to gather warriors of Marley from among you, the Subjects of Ymir!” 

Grice gaped at these words from beside Grisha, wondering what Marley was planning. After a pause of silence from the officer, he began to explain his words. 

Apparently, Karl Fritz had declared war with Marley. To prevent this, Eldian children aged five to seven would be gathered as potential warriors, who will be used to crush the ambitions of Karl Fritz. A select few of these warriors would inherit one of the six titan powers in Marley’s possession: The jaw, the beast, the female, the colossal, the armour and the cart. Furthermore, the families of the warriors would be granted the title of ‘honorary Marleyans’. 

Grisha’s mind churned over this announcement. What was Marley planning? Why had they decided to move now, of all times? Had Karl Fritz really declared war? 

Then, his mind turned to Zeke. His five year old son, sitting in Grisha’s old childhood home, unaware of the events setting the world into motion. 

Later that evening, the restorationists met as they always did. Eldians who were lost in this cruel and evil world, looking to fight back against it, to make a world better for them. They met like this often, usually to discuss information given to them by an informant nicknamed ‘The Owl.’ With The Owls guidance and information, they were no longer blind in this cold world. 

Marley had set up the warrior program to get ahead of the nations competing with them. By using the power of the titans, Marley’s goal was to collect the abundant resources on the island of Paradis. This is necessary for Marley to stay ahead of the other nations of the world, and Marley can no longer afford to ignore Paradis. However it would not be simple to invade Paradis, because of the threat of the wall titans being unleashed upon the world. 

To eradicate the threat of the wall titans, Marley is creating a special force of Eldian warriors to capture the founding titan living within the walls. In short, Marley’s plan aligned with the Restorationists, and Marley had more resources and man power to complete their goal, unlike the Restorationists. 

“Marley will overtake us in just a few years...”

Grisha’s mind once again turned to his son Zeke. Grisha and Dina’s plans to make him king of Eldia, to restore the Eldian Empire, could not be for nothing. An image of the young blonde boy, with intelligent gold eyes flashed into Grisha’s mind, and then he knew what he had to do. 

“We’ll make my son, Zeke, into one of Marley’s warriors...” 

\--

Zeke Yeager was born with a worlds worth of expectations balanced on his shoulders. 

Nine months after the instalment of the warrior program, in early January of the year 832, you were born to two happy parents named Dina Yeager and her husband Grisha. Your birth was the product of the Restorationists needing two titan shifters on their side to help them take back the founding titan.

In the time of his mothers pregnancy, five year old Zeke was at an age that was eligible for the warrior program, and he was signed up for it. While some Eldian parents grieved at their children being signed up for war and expected them to come home safe, others rejoiced at the prospect of becoming honorary Marleyans and expected their children to come back as warriors. Grisha and Dina expected Zeke to come back a king. 

Unlike Zeke, you were an unassuming baby girl, unaware of what was expected of you- a pawn to help your brother become king, and restore Eldia to its former glory and to crush Marley into dust. 

_“Your daughter is beautiful, what’s her name?”_

_“Faye...” Grisha told the midwife as he smiled wistfully at his newborn daughter. “Her name is Faye Yeager.”_

Life continued on, despite the new addition to the Yeager family. Grisha continued his work as a doctor, and everyday Zeke left to train in the warrior program, while Dina took care of you, and taught Zeke his duties as an Eldian royal when he was home. Behind the scenes, Dina and Grisha met up with their compatriots and schemed about their children’s future.

_“That uniform- Are you sure this is a good idea, Grisha?”_

_Before the married couple stood their son, dressed in the issued military uniform, he resembled a young boy playing dress up as a soldier, and perhaps that was what this scene was. While Dina had readily agreed to Grisha’s plans of making Zeke a warrior in the moment, now that she was faced with the outcome, doubt clouded her expression._

_“Zeke will endure.” Grisha reassured his wife, ignoring the blank look on his five year old sons face. “I know he will, because he is our son.”_

_Grisha offered to escort Zeke to the Liberio Internment zone gate, and the two left Dina to her thoughts. The training camp for the warrior program was held outside of the zone, and Grisha did not have a permit to escort his son the whole way. Instead Zeke would travel with other Eldian children in a group._

_Dina clutched her stomach as she watched them leave, and frowned._

_“In the end, this will all be worth it.”_

When he had the time to, outside of his studies and warrior training, Zeke enjoyed teaching you and playing with you. Even at the age of six, Zeke found people painfully dishonest. Even as a two month old, your company was more appreciated then most. You loved Zeke, and you would always babble excitedly when you saw him.

“Careful Zeke, don’t move your sisters head around too much.” Your mother reminded your brother as she watched the two of you carefully. 

“I know.” He spoke as he readjusted you, and you had giggled, reaching up to pull at his hair. Like Zeke, you shared your blonde hair with your mother. Little tufts of soft blonde hair that curled sat atop your head. “I invited my mentor Mr. Xavier to dinner tomorrow night. Is that okay?” 

Grisha and Dina had both exchanged looks then, and they had not gone unnoticed by their presumably preoccupied son.

“Xavier, the Beast titan?” Your mother clarified with a small frown adorned on her face, and watched as Zeke nodded while he pushed your small hands away from his hair gently. Xavier was originally from a different internment zone, and he used his beast titan form in war for Marley. 

“I’ve seen him around Liberio, he is the bespectacled man that frequents the restaurant near the hospital.” Your father stated. “I don’t see why we can’t have a guest, but next time ask us first, Zeke.” 

Zeke stared at you when he next spoke, not a single glance towards his father. 

“I will.”  
\--  
**Year 832, August 1st**

Zeke had woken up in the early morning for his seventh birthday. You were now eight months old. You were capable of speaking somewhat, and you could walk too. Both your first words and first steps were witnessed only by Zeke, as both of your parents were busy with work, and their illegal work, at the time it had happened. 

He carefully crept past his parent’s room, mindful of the one wooden board that always squeaked with the slightest pressure, and breathed a sigh of relief when he made it to your room. You had only recently moved from your parents bedroom to your new room, and really it was just your father’s old study, not a bedroom. They moved you because you kept making noises that woke them up through the night. As Restorationists they were already tired and stressed enough, so they moved you. Zeke woke up before the sun because he planned to leave to Liberio headquarters early to have his morning chat with his mentor and friend, but first he wanted to see you. 

In this world, your father had doomed the both of you. You were both born for the sole purpose of completing your father’s goal. You, Faye Yeager, were tasked before your conception with attaining the founding titan by becoming a shifter. The founding titan would then be given to Zeke or his mother. Zeke truly hated his father. He didn’t hate that his dad gave him you, though. You were the one bright light in this shit situation, someone who was going through the exact same situation as he was. You, his little sister, were nothing more than a pawn to your father. but everything to your brother. You were both in this situation together, and Zeke found comfort in that. 

After checking that you were fine and hadn’t choked to death in your sleep, and that you were sound asleep, he left to wander around Liberio until the Internment Zone gate was opened. 

Zeke stood by the barred gate, and watched through the gaps as a soldier meandered toward the gate that separated Zeke from the rest of Liberio. When the Marleyan military guard finally arrived at the internment fence, yawning as he opened it, Zeke held out his permit patiently to leave. The guard glowered at him, looking down at the permit and then directed his glare back at Zeke again.

“Bit early, isn’t it?” The guard bit out, as he looked over the permit. “Not planning anything are you, you damned devil?” 

“No sir,” Zeke replied blankly. The guard growled, angry at the fact that he had to deal with an Eldian brat so early in the morning, but let Zeke on his way, not before saying to him:  
“I should hope not, don’t want to get sent to Utopia.” It was a statement. No one wanted to be a mindless monster. 

Zeke’s mind drifted as he walked to military headquarters, where Eldian children trained in harsh conditions to become warrior candidates, a place he wasn’t fond of, but something he endured for his parent’s sake. He thought of his mentor who was always drinking coffee, of you babbling ‘Zee! Zee!’ cutely at him. He thought of his grandparents’ gift to him for his seventh birthday. 

He was seven today. 

And you were eight months old. 

\--  
Zeke couldn’t believe what he was hearing. 

“...An informant is leaking information... A group of Devils in Liberio.... calling themselves Eldia Restorationists...”

He knew the Marley Government would figure out his father’s restorationists group existed, they’ve crushed Eldian rebellions often enough to make a sport out of it, but so soon?

If they found out his family was linked with that group...Marley wouldn’t hesitate to send him, his grandparents and you to Utopia along with the fools he calls parents. You, an eight month old, ignorant to the troubles of the world, to how much people despised your existence, would be cursed to be a titan. Zeke couldn’t bare it.  
With a look of shock or maybe absolute dread on his face, he entered the room where the discussion was taking place. Eyes wide with trepidation, or maybe fear, he told them everything.

And a feeling he had never felt before blossomed inside his chest. 

Freedom.


	2. Violence and bloodshed

Zeke had sold out his own parents

Suffice it to say, the Marleyan commanding officers were impressed with Zeke’s loyalty, though slightly afraid of the seven year olds conviction. By selling out his own parents, Zeke saved himself, his grandparents and his younger sister, as well as proved himself loyal. The cruel fate of becoming a titan, or a titan’s lunch, fell solely on the Restorationists. After all, if you were willing to place all your bets on a seven year old, don’t be surprised when that weight is dropped on you. 

His parents were being sent to Utopia, all because of him. 

Utopia was the mocking name Marleyans used for turning rebellious or criminal Eldians into mindless titans, and setting them loose on Paradis. It refers to the idea that an Eldian would surely prefer to be their dumb, true, immortal self in their utopia then die a mortal. After all, Eldians were just savages who liked to cause fights and kill people. 

It was for the greater good that he sacrificed his parents.

His parent’s goal was lofty, and their means of accomplishing it were horrendous at best. Marley crushed rebellions for breakfast. It was only a matter of time until they were found out, without Zeke’s interference. Because Marley wants to make examples of rebellious Eldians, they send not only those joined with the rebellion to Utopia, but also the family members of the rebels. 

If Zeke hadn’t interfered...

For the greater good...

But the words ‘greater good’ were meaningless when you reach hell’s barred gate. 

There was certainly no utopia waiting for him.  
\---  
Year 832

“Zee!” 

Your grandmother on your father’s side was a woman with short curled black hair showing signs of gray, and a face showing signs of high levels of stress. After your parents were taken from you, you and your older brother were put in the custody of your grandparents. Your grandparents once had two children, and then they had none.  
Now they had two once more, an older boy and a younger girl. 

It hurt to call you Faye, because long ago a young girl who shared your name grew up in this house you now lived in. Although unlike the original Faye who had black hair, you had blonde. 

“Zee! Zee!”

“Now, now.” Your grandmother sighed as she bobbed you up and down on her knee to cease your cries for your brother. 

You had cried for your parents a lot originally. It had been a nightmare, and obviously your grandparents could not explain to someone so young that they weren’t coming back. How could they when the concept of ‘not coming back’ didn’t even exist for you. You missed Grisha and Dina terribly, and it showed. 

Zeke continued his training as a warrior. So far not a single warrior candidate had been chosen. Zeke strived to perform his best, for the sake of making his grandparents and you honorary Marleyans, as well as completing his own goals. 

_“You’re The Owl...”_

Life went on, as it did, and the boy who sold out his parents faded against the crowd, and became just another face. 

_“Hi! My name’s Faye, what’s yours?”_

Time passed quickly, as it did, and the girl intrinsically tied to the founding titan grew older, and became eligible for the warrior program. Another potential warrior among many.  
\--  
Year 839

“Tag, you’re it!”

Various bouts of laughter travelled across the street as children ran about, playing. It was late in the morning, nearing lunch time, and the streets were quite busy. There was no defined park, playground or anything of that sort for the Eldians in internment zones, so the children often played in the streets. 

You watched them with veiled interest, clutching onto your grandmothers skirt. You were out shopping for more books at the moment. You associated reading as time with your brother, as he was the one who taught you to read. Although he was rarely around anymore, you substituted that time with reading books on your own. For Zeke, the training of warriors was becoming more rigorous, and trips to places like mountains to trek the harsh terrain became more frequent. Apparently he had also seen the ocean, and you loved to hear about it. Liberio was quite close to the ocean, but wasn’t a port town, and as an Eldian you were never allowed to leave and see it.

While Zeke was off and away from you, you filled the time with reading, and improving to impress Zeke when he got back. You loved books, but your family didn’t have many children books in their possession, only medical ones. Those books were boring for you, as well as difficult 

You wanted to become a warrior, so you could travel outside the internment wall with your brother. 

Some time ago, you had asked your grandpa why you couldn’t travel out of the walls of the Internment zone, and leave with Zeke. That was when he had sat you down, and told you about the Eldian race. 

It had frightened you. The people who you sometimes saw outside the gates, believed you were an evil being. You and your family weren’t allowed to leave because you were considered hellspawn. You were too evil to be out and about with Marleyans. 

But... If Zeke became a warrior, then your grandparents and yourself would become honorary Marleyans. Though you would still have to wear your armband, you would be allowed into Liberio. 

“Oh! It’s nice to see you Susan. Lovely morning, isn’t it?”

“Yes.” Your grandmother replied to the book store owner, an older woman with a taut face, her hair pulled into a tight ponytail. The lady smiled down at you  
“And you must be Faye. How is that boy, Zeke, doing? Your family must be so proud.”

You didn’t answer. Truthfully, becoming an honorary Marleyan was not what you really wanted. If Zeke never left the Internment zone so often, you would have no interest outside the walls, or care about the ocean. 

“...Yes.” Your grandmother said, forcing a small smile. “We’re very proud.”

Your grandmother paid for your books, and the two of you left the store, not before thanking the woman. 

You never pretended to understand your brother’s intentions. Both your grandparents and Zeke would dance around your various questions. Asking who your parents were, and asking why Zeke wanted to be a warrior became pointless. 

You wanted to become a warrior to see what all the fuss was about. Every adult talked about it constantly, and Zeke was always away because of it. What was so great about being an honorary Marleyan?

_“We are sinners Faye. Our ancestor Ymir made a deal with the devil...”_

Your grandpa’s words often found their way in your head. You didn’t feel evil, and you would never call the people who provided so much for you evil. Were the sins of your ancestors so great, even good people like your grandparents and Zeke were evil?

Was becoming an honorary Marleyan really enough to atone for those sins?

You were seven now. Your grandparents kept trying to tell you to wait and think about your decision to become a warrior. There was only one more year until you were no longer allowed to sign up for the warrior program. Technically it was mandatory for only one family member to sign up, but more could do so if they wished. You would get to view the world that Zeke sees. You might even be chosen as a warrior.

_“Grandpa, what’s a warrior?”_

_“A warrior is someone who fights for the glory of Marley, just like your brother.”_

_“But you told Mr. Simmons off for fighting our neighbour...”_

_Your family started to laugh, much to your confusion. The other day, the young man who delivers newspapers door to door had gotten into a fierce argument with your neighbours. Because you loved to practice your reading with the words on the newspaper, you always waited patiently for Mr. Simmons to deliver it by sitting on the doorstep. At first he was annoyed to have to deal with your unending questions in the morning, but over time you had both settled in a mutual friendship._

_He went from ‘Newspaper man’ to ‘Mr. Simmons’, and you went from ‘annoying brat’ to ‘Faye, the annoying brat I put up with.’ True friendship, as Zeke would say_

_One morning, while you were waiting patiently for your friend on the front door step, you witnessed your neighbour storm out of his house. A bright, red anger was evident on his face. He had been arguing with his wife that night, which you unfortunately had to listen to because of the thin walls, and clearly that argument had gone on into the morning._

_Unluckily for Mr. Simmons, who was standing outside your neighbour’s door, he had to face the full wrath of the frustrated man. You had watched in interest as an argument ensued between them. And then, much to your surprise, your friend threw a punch at the older man. It had been the first time you had witnessed violence._

_“Faye, a street brawl is hardly glorious.”_

_“Don’t say that Grandpa, we’re raising Faye to become a street brawler.”_

_“Zeke!” Your grandpa had scolded in mock outrage, a small smile on his face. "Enough talk of fighting now, lunch is almost ready.”_

You smiled faintly at the memory. Zeke has been away since then, and Mr. Simmons was suspended from work for the time being. You were becoming increasingly lonely. 

A warrior is someone who fights gloriously. But the only fight you have seen was a fight that wasn’t glorious. You still remembered the blood that leaked from your neighbours’ nose, and the bright red mark around Mr. Simmons eye that had turned such a horrible purple. But the way the two brawlers had fought, the violent looks on their faces, and the rush of the fight. It had all exhilarated you.

And that exhilaration scared you.

_“Don’t move around too much.” Your grandpa said as he treated Mr. Simmons. Your grandfather was a doctor, and had hurriedly went out to help with injuries. Mr. Simmons had been let inside your house for the first time ever, just to be treated. You had always begged your grandparents to invite him over for dinner, but they always told you they didn’t know him or his family enough to do that._

_You were afraid your grandpa wouldn’t be able to treat your friend, that he would forever be cursed with such horrible swelling around his left eye, so you snuck away from your grandma to your grandfathers study to spy on them._

_“There. Your eye seems to be fine, luckily.” Your grandpa sighed then, “I should hope you know now to never do that again, especially in front of Faye.”_

That rush of seeing a fight had sped your heart up, like a bolt of lightning striking you. 

You wondered what glorious fights looked like. Were they guttural and savage and oh so human like Mr. Simmons fight had been, were they quick or were they long drawn out. There was no winner between Mr. Simmons and your neighbour; did glorious fights require a winner always?

_“Eldians used to hurt Marleyans, and they did this for thousands of years...”_

Did warriors always fight gloriously, and did they only ever fight for Marley? Did the people opposed to Marley have warriors who also fought gloriously?

No one ever answered your questions, and your grandmother did not like you bringing up fighting. You were taught from a very young age not to say anything bad about Marley. You supposed you would have to find the answers when you atoned for your sins; when you became an honorary Marleyan and a warrior.

A warrior who fights gloriously. 

_“We can never atone for the horrors we inflicted on Marley.”_

“Faye?”

“Huh?” You blinked in confusion, before looking up at your grandmother. She was frowning, and her eyes seemed mournful to you. “What?”

“You’ve been spacing out.” She told you. “Are you alright?”

You had both reached your second destination without you noticing that you had arrived. It was the hospital where your grandfather worked. Apparently your father also once worked here. You didn’t like the place, because some of your father’s old co-workers often gave you sad and pitying looks. It also smelled really bad in the hospital. 

“Yeah... I was just thinking.” You said as you both walked through the front door and sat on the chairs in the waiting room. The lady at the desk smiled at your familiar faces, and you smiled back, “Grandpa gets off work soon, right?”

“Yes, he-” Your grandma was cut off by the sound of bells chiming. 

The two of you looked over to the front door to see a woman and a young boy rush in, with distraught looks on their faces. The woman hastily asked the front desk lady for Mr. Hoover's room.

“Let’s see here... Mr. Hoover... He’ s in room ten.” The lady at the front desk told the woman and boy, and the two left quickly to room ten, with frightful looks on their faces that seemed to be painfully stuck that way. You watched them go with a frown, and looked up at your grandmother with a question on your lips. 

“Stay right here, Faye.” She beat you to it, and stood up. Turning to the front desk lady, she said “Millicent, can you watch Faye for a moment?”

“Of course.” 

You watched your grandmother go the direction of the Hoover family, curiosity spilling from you in waves. You turned to the front desk lady, and opened your mouth to interrogate her, but again you were beaten to the punch. 

“Mr. Hoover is very hurt.” She explained to you in a simple way for a child, “He is in a lot of pain, and might not walk again.”

“Did he fight someone?”

“What? Faye, he hurt himself while working.” She said as she examined you strangely. “Mr. Hoover works in construction, which is a very dangerous job.” 

“Will he be okay?” 

She hesitated then, and you imagined that is why your grandmother raced away after the Hoover family. Mr. Simmons eye got better, but Mr. Hoover might not get better. 

“The only way for Mr. Hoover to get the treatment he needs, is if Marley doctors helped.” She told you in a quiet voice, and the pitying look your father’s co-workers gave you overtook her face. 

“Can’t we ask them to help him?”

“Faye, they don’t have spare doctors to help Eldians. They say they don’t have enough resources to help us.” 

_“Eldians stole the land and possessions from the Marleyans.”_

Your grandfathers words. Marley’s actions. Who was right, and who was wrong? You wanted to believe your grandpa, because you had faith in him, but how could Marleyans who denied resources for those suffering be right? 

Becoming a warrior, to see the world that Zeke sees, or to fight gloriously for Marley? Which was right, and which was wrong?

“I’m going to become a warrior!” A voice broke you from your thoughts, and you looked over to the ruckus being made. 

That boy, and his mother were back. It seemed your grandparents were consoling Mrs. Hoover about her husband, when suddenly:

“We’re going to become honorary Marleyans, and then dad will...” The five year old choked up, still distraught about the state his father was in. “Dad will...”

Ah, so that is what your fathers co-workers felt when they saw you.

You looked away from them, and stared absently at the wall. If Mr. Hoover didn't get the help he needed, or that boy failed to become a warrior... Then what would happen to them? 

\---

"Is that family going to be alright, grandpa?"

The streets were much more emptier now, as the sun's orange glow was fading over the horizon. Your grandparents stayed at the hospital longer than normal, due to Mr. Hoover's chronic disease, and you all leaved long after your grandfathers shift. 

"I'm sure they will all pull through." He told you after a long pause, as though he was choosing his words carefully. Always dancing about your questions. You stared down at your shoes as you walked. 

"Is that what happened to my parents?" You asked quietly, your soft words almost carried off by the wind. "Did they get an injury that Marley refused to help with?" 

The painful silence afterwards sent your heart racing so loudly you could hear every thump of it in your ears, and you wondered if your grandpa would ignore you. 

Suddenly, a strong force grabbed you by your shoulders, and turned you violently and abruptly to face your grandpa. He was kneeling down to your height, but he seemed so imposing and tall then and there. But that paled in comparison to the look of horror on his face, which would surely give you nightmares. 

"Without Marley's generosity and tolerance, we would be dead right now, Faye. Do you understand me?" He shouted at you, and you flinched back, trying to wriggle out of his grip. You looked to your grandma for help, but she had turned her head. Your eyes widened and you stared straight into your grandfathers eyes. His warm and caring dark iris's had been replaced by unfocused, black soulless horrors that frightened you. "Because of our ancestors, we-" 

"I was hoping to surprise you all at home, but this is fine too." A voice cut in. You all looked to see Zeke had arrived now. You had always been happy to see your brother return, but the relief you felt in seeing him now outshone all of the other times he came home. "Getting into street fights again, Faye?"

"Zeke!" You shouted in relief, and in your grandfather’s shock, you successfully managed to break free from his grip, and rushed over to your older brother. He was thirteen now, and he was turning fourteen this year. Since you only saw him sporadically, he seemed to grow taller every time he visited, and this time was no exception. You flung your arms around his taller frame, your body still somewhat shaking from your grandfather’s outburst, and buried your face in his coat. 

"...Its good to see you home, Zeke." Your grandpa said, standing up from where he was still kneeling. A dull silence fell over all of you. Your grandmother looked as distraught as the Hoover family had been, and the calm look on Zeke and your grandpa's face seemed out of place. "Lets head home, shall we?"

You reluctantly agreed, mulling quietly over your thoughts while your grandma told Zeke about the books you had gotten today

Never in your life had you seen your grandfather so angry. You were so used to the kind, old doctor who gave you extra sweets when his wife wasn't looking, that you weren't sure if his outburst had really even happened. Had you imagined it? You felt exhausted and sluggish. Perhaps staying at the hospital for almost all of the day with its strange smells had made you hallucinate your soft spoken grandfather yelling at you. 

_"We are horrible, horrible sinners."_

You looked up at Zeke who was walking beside you, telling your grandparents a funny story about a cadet in the warrior program. Zeke always knew more then he let on. You decided you would ask him about your grandfather's outburst, about your parents, and about why he became a warrior. 

_"We can never atone for our sins."_

A warrior who fights, but doesn't fight like your friend Mr. Simmons. You often saw Marleyan soldiers carrying around those wooden sticks called guns. Was a warrior who fought gloriously a person who fought with weapons, and not with fists? What was the true difference in their violence? 

_"We are devils."_

\---

Dinner had been solemn and quiet, and though you didn't say anything, you were bursting with energy. Your exhausted state had cleared up at the prospect of talking with Zeke tonight. Maybe you would even get a chance to talk to Mr. Simmons in the morning. 

Your brother was sat in the lounge room, reading a book issued by the military. You were strictly forbidden from reading those ones by your family. Your grandparents had turned in for the night, and went to bed, so it was only the two of you. 

"Zeke, I've been thinking..."

"Uh oh" He said in mock worry, not looking up from his book. "That can't be good, your head will explode."

"No it won't, you liar." You huffed as you sat in the other chair. "I've been wanting to ask you about something..."

He sighed, and finally looked up at you. 

"About our parents." You finally said.

Again, he sighed, and set his book down. 'Military tactics and protocol' its title read. Your green eyes moved from his placed book, back to him. 

You didn't know much about your parents. You knew your fathers name was Grisha, and he worked at the hospital. You knew you shared your blonde hair with your mother. You knew that you weren't allowed to see them. 

"Do you remember Ms. Phelps?" He finally asked you, and you were confused about what that old hag had to do with your parents. 

Ms. Phelps was an elderly woman who once lived in your street. She often yelled at you for the most inane things, and you avoided her when you could. She was short and frail, and though her voice was high pitched her words were harsh. Even the other adults cowed to the old lady, and tried not to offend her. However once, something you were sure would never happen again had happened right before your eyes. It had been mid-afternoon, and a group of young boys were playing around in the street. You watched them as you sat on the front door step, bored out of your mind. 

_"Kick it here, Marcel!"_

 

_'Is someone else staring up at this sky, wishing something exciting would happen?' Your lidded gaze turned from the sky, downwards to see a ball rolling towards you. It's a dirt-covered thing, barely round anymore, and clearly worn from use and old age. It stops in front of your feet, and your gaze turns upward to see a boy approaching you with a friendly smile._

 

_"Kick it here." He asks you politely, and you seriously consider not touching it. You weren't too icky with gross things, considering the bugs your brother has tormented you with through the years, but you're certain your bare foot will contract a disease if you touch the lumpy thing._

_Forcing a small, awkward smile in his direction, you limply press your foot against the soccer ball and push it gently towards him. It doesn't travel very far, and you note he has to walk towards it to make up the distance. You don't miss the quiet snickering from the other boys, which causes you to blush in embarrassment, but the boy with black hair smiles at you in a reassuring manner._

_"My name's Marcel. What's yours?" He asks you._

_"Faye."_

_"Would you like to join us?"_

_"What? No way-"_

_"No thanks" You cut in, ignoring the other boys while wriggling your feet. "I don't have shoes."_

_"Okay, it was nice meeting you, Faye."_

_He went back to his friends, and your gaze had turned back up to the sky. Cloud watching was so, so boring. You wondered what Mr. Simmons was up to. What Zeke was up to. You wondered if Marleyan kids had soccer balls that weren't so worn, and had money for piles and piles of shoes._

_"Enough! Enough!" A shrill voice had cut through the air like a whip, and you had flinched. It was Ms. Phelps. You looked over to see the frail woman shouting at those boys. In her arms were stacks and stacks of clay flower pots, so high they reached past her chin, and were wobbling and threatening to fall at any moment._

_The boys laughed at the absurd woman, and continued on with their game of kicking the ball. It wasn't like they were in her way, she just wanted an excuse to yell at them. You almost felt sorry for them, because they obviously had no idea who she was, but you remembered them laughing at you and kept out of the ensuing argument._

_Just as you were about to tear your gaze back to the cloudy sky, the old crazy woman began to kick at one of the boys' foot despite what she was carrying. The boy shouted 'you damn hag,' which was immediately added to your vocabulary, and that friendly boy named Marcel was quick to jump into action._

_And then, like a frail stack of cards, those pots fell in a heap._

_The sound of the crash had resounded through the street, and had been heard by everyone, but more miraculous then that, the boy the pots had fallen on... Was completely fine._

_"Porco, are you alright?"_

_"Yeah, I think so."_

_Suddenly, the old frail woman shrieked, and fell to her knees. She resembled a frantic animal, and she began to collect the pieces of her broken pots. The animalistic look on her face scared you, and seeing her ignore the blood on her palms as she grabbed desperately at those sharp pot pieces frightened you. Hurriedly, you ran back into the house._

"What about her?"

"We had told you that Ms. Phelps moved away." Your brother began. "But that was wrong, you see she attacked a Marleyan soldier, and was sent to Utopia."

"What does this have to do with mum and dad, and what's-"

"Shush, would you? You're the one who asked." He cut in, and you squinted at him until he continued. "Utopia is... A place Marleyans send you, if you do something bad. And you go there to die." 

You frowned at him, wondering what he was playing at. Utopia sounded like a good thing, so why would bad people be sent there to die? And he still hadn't explained what this has to do with your parents. 

"When you were very young, our parents were... Caught doing something very bad." 

_"We can never atone for our sins."_

"They were sinners, and acted like our ancestors?" You asked him. 

"...Yes." Zeke said after a while of staring at you. 

_"Without Marley's generosity and tolerance..."_

"Is that why grandpa freaked out?" You asked sadly, then clarified in a quiet voice. "Because our parents were devils who hurt Marley?" 

_"We would be dead."_

Zeke stood up, and made his way over to you, and sat next to you. You hugged into his side, and he hugged you back. 

Your parents were like that. They were sinners. No wonder grandpa cautioned you and always told you about Eldia's sins. He was worried about you, and didn't want you to be sent to Utopia like his son was. The grief your grandfather felt must have been tremendous, so it was no wonder he yelled at you like that. 

You vowed to never speak badly about Marley again. 

"Hey, Zeke?" You started, smiling tiredly at his third sigh of the night. "Why did you decide to become a warrior? Why do you work so hard?"

"Because I saw an owl once..." 

You squinted up at him disbelievingly. "No."

"What? It's true..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again I’m not a writer so forgive me for this terrible mess. Sorry! Only SOME parallels and themes this time, and also a whole chapter filled with childhood lmao. I just want to get to the island already! Also anyone else notice that front desk lady-chan had no regard for fucking privacy, and just told Faye the Hoover family’s goddamn business like she had the right. I guess back in ye olden days, times were simpler and you could spill the beans about your charges willy fucking nilly. 
> 
> Also: 
> 
> Chapter 1 Zeke: Your father is alive  
> Chapter 2 Zeke: He ded lol  
> Chapter 3 Zeke: I am your father ?????


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